BFF, my butt.

To a not so old, old and distant friend:
I do not hate you. I love you and miss you nearly every day. I miss the stupid things we did together, all the things we used to cook and experiment with making. I just simply miss our friendship. I cannot even look at pictures because it brings me to tears to see all of those memories and to know that I will never experience a friendship like the one we shared. You were my best friend and I trusted you with everything in me.

Part of me wants to hate you, not to miss you, and wants nothing good to ever happen to you. After what you’ve done, said, and broken…I can’t. I still wish you well.

But you can keep your distance. You’ve damaged me more then I ever thought a person could. I’ll miss you from afar because this is where life has brought us. I will not ruin my life with hatred of you, but I will keep what has happened in the back of my mind and I hope you do as well. I hope you see the wrong you’ve done and one day can own up to it. Until then, I will pray. Pray for my heart to not be hardened, pray for me to forgive you entirely, and I’ll pray for you, to have the best this world can offer.

If I would ever run into you, I don’t know what I would do, but…

There is a big difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. I choose forgiveness.